Writing

Energy, energy is very important in life. There is a lot of energy. Like a lot. Energy comes in three states.

There are three states of matter, solid, liquid and gas. A solid can be a table, a liquid can be water, and gas can be helium. Just say you have a small container fill of marbles, when you shake the container you can not hear anything or see any movement, that is a solid. If you tip some of the marbles out, put the lid on then shake it all around, you will see that it is moving more and you can hear them rattling around. That is liquid. When you tip out a half of what you have left and shake that around, you will hear more noise and see that they jiggle around more. That is a gas.

Atoms, atoms are everything you can see, touch and taste. Atoms are incy wincy things that move. So nothing stands still. Atoms can heat your body, atoms make you sweat. Have you ever heard of molecules, we'll atoms are made out of molecules. Three atoms make one molecule. Atoms are also known as matter and that brings me to my next paragraph.

Potential energy is stored energy. Think of a pen, if you put it on the edge of a table it has the potential to fall off. So potential energy is energy that has the ability to move. 

Kinetic energy is when an object does something like moving. It transfers energy to the same mass. For an example, think of Newtons C radle, there are five balls. The first ball gets lifted then let go. When it's let go and hits the other three balls, it gives the last ball energy to go into the air. So basically kinetic energy is objects that move.

What is heat and temperature you ask, are they the same? We'll heat and temperature are not the same. They only have one thing in common, they both can be hot. Heat can not be cold. It is just a fact. There is no way that heat can be cold. Heat is hot and that's how it will stay. Heat is made by atoms. Just like everything else in the universe. Atoms warm up stuff to make it hot. To make it heat. Temperature can hot and cold.  Temperature is when you get chilly on a cold stormy night, or feeling the hot vibe at the beach. But seriously, temperature is everything hot and cold. Now you can understand that heat and temperature are not the same. 

In conclusion energy is everywhere there are three states of matter. Atoms are always moving. Heat and temperature are not the same. Potential energy is stored energy and kinetic energy is moving energy.

 

Thanks for reading, 

Aroha  

I can...

my comment: I think that my writing is good, Mabey if I had a bit more time I would be more relaxed on having to include hooking words. 

buddy comment:Aroha, You were very on task because you never were talking you were always looking down doing your work. As a result you writing it awesome so well done!!! Georgia O :) 

teacher comment:

state the main point in the first part of a each new paragraph:

*There are three states of matter

* Atoms are every where 

*Potential energy is stored energy 

* Konetic energy if moving energy 

* Heat and Temperature are NOT the same

You have used a main point at the start of each body paragraph. 

Mabey 7/10

include evidence (facts, experiments etc) to support my main point

I could work on that, that could be my goal for writing

Most paragraphs have clear examples.

Most of them do

explain the evidence and how it proves my main point

That could be another goal I could work on

You have persevered to try to explain how/why your example proves your point - this is really tricky, well done.

Practise writing a linking sentence to my next paragraph

Your ideas link in your paragraphs. Have a look at how writers link between paragraphs. You have started to do this.

infuse style: topic-specifc vocab, second/third person, present tense, transition words

Great style. You have used some transition words.